Black Moon
by Ferris Underground
Summary: It’s easy to see the world and all its problems from the bright side of the moon. That’s where most people find themselves. But you can see far off into the heavens from the dark side. Maybe that’s where you’ll find yourself, Riku. better summary inside


Black Moon ~ Ferris Underground

Summary: It's easy to see the world and all its problems from the bright side of the moon. That's where most people find themselves. But you can see far off into the heavens from the dark side. Maybe that's where you'll find yourself, Riku.

You clicked after a crappy summary like that?

By the way, there's not really any solid pairings in this one. Just some hints going in different directions.

Post game with character resurrections…I'm not really sure if that makes it seem AU…that's up to you. Oh, and a character death or two….forgot to mention that, silly me

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Chapter 1 _Torn_

_Let it burn till the image fades away… (Disturbed)_

Another bitter December morning. Another stale wind sweeping under a placid sky. Another bare tree clawing at the air and another crisp leaf at the wind's mercy. Another pale ray of light reaching through the blinds into a still, quiet room.

Another day of this.

Riku woke up in a morning daze, double checking his watch to see if he had really gotten up in the a.m.'s this time. 7:47. Definitely a.m. There was no use in trying to go back to sleep; it was one of those days when he knew he'd be up no matter what, whether he got his eight hours or not. But he wasn't about to hop to his feet and start the day either. It was more so because he felt there was no reason to, rather than he felt too tired to. He lay there for a good half hour or so staring at the ceiling. Nothing much going through his head. His thoughts would wander to Sora or Kairi every now and then. Sometimes even Repliku would cross his mind. But these weren't very elaborate thoughts. Just faces. Maybe accompanied by a background. Maybe accompanied by a hint of emotion. Sometimes disappointment. Guilt. Regret. Bitterness. Apathy. Perhaps he'd think of something he should've said or shouldn't have said. Who should or should not have known. Why he even bothered sometimes. Yet every once in a while, he'd go back to wondering what he was doing up so early on a Saturday anyway.

And then the damn phone rang. That piercing ring that demands one's undivided attention. The ring from a phone that's always too far to get to without getting up. The phone that'll ring until someone does something about it because there's no answering machine. Sure enough, Riku was the only one home and he knew it. He groaned a bit before pulling himself off the couch and making his way over to the kitchen. Sloppily picking up the phone, he cleared his throat and answered "Yeah?"

"Hey Riku, you're up already!" a familiar voice chirped.

"What's up, Sora?" Riku greeted, not sounding half as awake as the other voice.

"Nothing much. I was actually gonna head out to the mall in a little. Wanna come?"

"Uh.."

"Yeah, I'm asking him now.." Sora called off to the side. " Oh, uhm , Kairi says hi"

"Hey Kai—"

"Whoa! Wait! Cloud! Do that again!...That's awesome!"

"…So…who else is going?"

"Oh, me, Kairi, Selphie, Tidas, Wakka, Donald, Goofy, Hayner, Pence, Olette, Seifer, Raijin, Fuujin, Vivi, Cloud, Leon, Yuffie, Aerith, Tiffa and Cid"

"…Damn, the whole gang, I see."

"Yep. It's gonna be a bl—HAHAHAHA! Not you too, Hayner! HAHAHA!"

Yeah. Sora wouldn't miss his company, so it seemed. And even if Riku did decide to go, he didn't feel like getting to know half the people coming along—let alone share Sora with all of them. Been there, done that, had a miserable time. It wasn't that Sora had a horrible taste in friends, it was just that he'd make friends with _anyone_; most of whom Riku would classify as "nice but lame". What was it about them? Were their laughs that empty, or was it the fact that they'd laugh at anything and everything? Was it the stupid things they'd talk about like giving some light to a friend in need or the time they hit 30 bees with a stick? Did he detect a subtle dislike in them that seemed to reveal and direct itself to him only? Who knew? Who cared? They weren't worth his concern. And Sora, must you enter the mall the _moment_ it opens its doors? "Sorry, I kinda have something to do today", Riku declined, hoping Sora wouldn't ask about it.

"Aw, that's too bad. You sure you can't come?"

"Nope, maybe next time."

"Ok then, I'll call you later. Sorry you can't come"

"It's cool. Later"

"Bye"

Riku hung up the phone and dropped himself onto a kitchen chair. "Like hell I've got something better to do…", he thought to himself. "I'm sick of staying in this damn house though, that's for sure.." He grabbed and bit into a donut that had been sitting out on the table for a couple of days. It tasted about as lifeless as it appeared; stale, abnormally porous, scentless, a little discoloured."Hell. I'll do _something_ today.." More so to distract himself from the lack of Sora's company than to amuse himself. For some reason, his was the only company he truly felt comfortable in. Not being able to hang out one-on-one the way they used to was becoming quite frustrating. Frustrating to the point where Riku wasn't even sure if they were as close as they were in the past. But hell, maybe he deserved it. While Sora moved on and made other friends, living different lives in other worlds, Riku rotted in infinite darkness, fighting off insanity with memories that began to taunt him. Memories that would draw back the hand it offered when ever he'd reach for it. Unfortunately, the light at the end of the tunnel wasn't very bright once he finally got to it. He made it back to his home on the islands with his childhood friends, but was he happy about the way things turned out? Not at all. Maybe he was being too picky. But so what if he was? Something wasn't sitting right with him and try as he might, he couldn't ignore it. With a heart that strong, who could? "Whatever", Riku sighed as he got up and left the kitchen. As bitter a person as he'd become, he did have the right attitude. Why pity oneself? Why should one be pitied at all if they were just going to sit there and feed from it? Pity only comes with failure, which only comes from trying. Not that he expected any miracles—especially not just from one day—but he wasn't going to sit there and wallow in his own despair either. Instead, he'd go out once again to try and find some purpose in the day he involuntarily woke into.

After his morning routine, Riku slipped into whatever clothing was in reach of him on the floor and began combing his shower wet hair. There he stood in front of a water spattered mirror blankly staring at his reflection, still trying to determine after 18 years what colour exactly his eyes were. He focused on them for a few minutes until the horrid sound of a vibrating cell phone over a pile of loose jelly beans caught his attention. He glanced at the caller ID and answered the call while rescuing a few beans from a fall to the carpet floor. "Hey, gorgeous."

"Very funny", the same voice replied on the other end. However, this voice had a more ailing tone to it.

"What's going on? You sound kinda dead. Are you sick?" Riku asked as he continued to comb some air into his damp hair and popped a couple of beans into his mouth.

"Yeah. I have no idea where it came from, but it's really bad."

"A cold?"

"Nuh-uh. Much worse. I'm coughin' up blood and stuff. And I can't really move anymore. All started like, half an hour ago." This of course was followed by a coughing episode—a pathetic one. "…_Dammit_…"

"You should really be in a hospital"

"Oh sure. Let me just warp on over there with blood shot eyes and explain to the doctors that I'm not a demon."

"Get Vexen to take a look you."

" He left for a mission before I knew anything was wrong. And his phone's always off when he's busy"

"Fine, I'll take you to a hospital then. Be right over"

"Thanks…_cough!_.."

Riku sighed and ended the call. "..Well, this darkness is good for something..", he said. Yes, for some reason unbeknown to him, he still harbored enough shadow energy within him to prove useful at times like this, but not enough to take over him the way it did before. Perhaps it never really left him and just stayed dormant for a while. Perhaps it was reborn from the frustration and dissatisfaction he held inside. To Riku, it mattered not as long as it remained subtle but helpful. With an open palm and a little concentration, Riku opened up a portal and was about to step inside when an urgent knock shook the front door. "Now what?..", he sighed to himself as he closed the portal. He wanted to keep this whole darkness thing a secret. Off he went, as he marched down stairs and answered the door. "Oh, hey. It's been a while, King Mickey. And you too, Queen Minnie."

"Oh good", the mouse king said with overwhelming relief. "I told ya there was nothing to worry about", he then said to the queen.

Riku raised an eyebrow. "I think I missed something. What's good?"

"It's just good ta see ya doin' fine, that's all"

"You guys were worried about me?"

"It's quite silly, actually…", Minnie started, "especially seeing that it was over nothing, but…I just had a horrible dream. We just wanted to make sure everything was ok."

"Oh…Sorry to worry you, then."

" Hey, I know", Mickey perked, " Minnie and I were just on our way to drop off some treats to the Dalmatian family. Why don't you come along with us, Riku?"

"Uh…I kinda have t—"

"Aw c'mon. It'll only take a sec."

"…But…"

"Five minutes—I promise"

"…"

And so there Riku found himself at the Dalmatian household, trying not to embarrass himself by calling any of the 101 puppies by the wrong name and declining food and drink offers in fear of staying longer than he intended. But that he did. Feeding each and every dog in the house was not enough—nope. Somehow, Riku got suckered into having tea with the family. But fine, what's another 20 minutes? Just some polite small talk sprinkled with white lies and shallow laughter. Riku eventually saw a window of opportunity to leave and was about to take it, but like the whole "5 minute" agreement, this plan too went awry. He battled his guilt for a good hour or so as he went to the park with the family and their beloved canines, and then for another hour and a half as they watched an old Western movie. Finally, enough was enough and he tore himself from these light-hearted activities and found some secluded place somewhere in the neighborhood where he could open up a portal unseen.

Oh yes. This was his room alright. Black rock band T shirts and razored jeans tossed along the blotchy carpet, an old lamp with an old sock hanging from the rim, an open can of soda on the dresser. Perhaps the most demanding part of this small space was the window. The light on the other side darted through the tears and holes of the tannish window shade. A few magazine clippings were arranged into a collage on the shade to offer it a little more life. Words like "requiem" and "prelude" were written alongside the pictures in black sharpie. Below the shade, Riku saw his spitting image curled uncomfortably beneath wrinkled, blood splattered sheets. His glossy hair was swept over his face and began to blend in with the paleness of his skin. And those eyes. The Devil's eyes. Eyes filled with a panicky exuberance bursting through shaggy silver locks. "You look like hell", Riku finally said.

"I feel like hell", Repliku murmured, hesitant to speak in fear of provoking another fit.

A long disturbing silence followed. For Riku, it was the harrowing silence that saunters in and out of one's being when they come to the realization that their darkest fear has become their reality. The whole thing seemed like an out of body experience—seeing himself in one state while being in another. As if in a trance, he slowly walked over and lowered himself to sit on the side of the bed. "You know…I don't want to go to the hospital anymore…", Repliku half whispered.

"Well you can't get any better staying here", Riku said placidly, fighting to maintain composure with those exhilarated eyes burning into his skull. But then again, what was there to be afraid of? They were his own, after all. He began to sweep small locks of hair from his face. "I meant to come sooner, but I kind of got held up. Come on. I'll get you there right now and I'll answer all the questions. All you have to do is stay alive."

"That seems like a lot of work on my part…", Repliku smirked.

"Quit talking like that! You'll be fine."

"It's…not even worth it, you know…"

"Of course it is!"

"Is it really?...The world wouldn't miss me…Heh, one pain in the ass is enough anyway. I wasn't supposed to exist in the first place…And as far as I'm concerned, I don't. This isn't my house, I don't have any friends other than you, which pretty much cancels out…I don't even have a real name or my own body. What is there to hold on to?" He began to wince, as he suppressed a few persistent coughs and swallowed the hot blood that erupted in his throat and seeped past his lips.

"…Just… shut up and let me get you a doctor."

"…Just shut up and let me go…"

"No!"

"Oh come on…It's not like _you're_ dying…It's just me"

"I told you to stop talking like that!" Riku scolded, grabbing the other by his shoulders.

"What? You want me to lie to you…?"

"Shut up!"

"I don't see why you're so attached t—_couggghh!cough!coughh!_ ah!"

"C'mon, save your strength…"

"Heheh…what strength…?", Repliku chuckled weakly as he held a diminishing hand in front of him.

"Repliku! No!"

"It's ok…there's nothing to be afraid of..."

"Damn you! You can't die on me!" Riku grabbed on to his look alike and held him for dear life.

"You're right…I can't…Because death doesn't really exist..." He watched peacefully over Riku's tense shoulder as shreds of his body began to rise and vanish into thin air—a sight he had already become familiar with. "…And neither do I…"

"No! This isn't fair! You don't deserve this!"

"Better me than you, right..?" Repliku smirked as his sight grew hazy. It was a combination of realizing he was a gonner, knowing that this is what many people fear most, and recognizing his own apathy that made him chuckle on the inside. "You know…I hear that if you can let go of your ego, you can advance spiritually…live a better life. In a way, this kinda works out for you, huh..?"

"What?"

"…Maybe this is more than coincidence…"

"WHAT?!"

"Heh…I've already said too much…"

"Wait! What are you sayi—"

"Sorry…I've gotta go…Don't go all emo on me, ok? …Just think about what I said…"

A soft smile, closed eyes, and a long exhale. That was the last of Riku's clone. He left the air thick with black dust and a hint of sweet melancholy. For Riku, he left a small smudge of blood on his shoulder. Riku sat there still and confused and scared as would a child standing over the shattered remains of a drinking glass full of juice. And there he sat as another December day grew dim and allowed the somber veils of night to shroud the sky.

And there he sat outside under the chalky orange streetlight on a damp sidewalk.

And there he sat on his own bed wrapped in his own silence and guilt.

And there he sat as another December moon peeked from behind a cloud of black dust.

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Hey, you made it all the way through! Too spiritual? Sorry, I'll tone it down. In fact, this is supposed to be the only part like that. Unless you like that sort of thing. But how will I know if you don't leave any reviews? And how will you know what Repliku was talking about or how he even got sick or what where Riku and Sora's relationship is heading or what other things might happen to other people? Why do I ask? Because I'm not updating without reviews. Open to anything. Thanks for reading :D


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